The other evening I was having a mini-existential crisis on the living room floor."Mom, I need to get out of Edina." "Where would you like to go, Katie?" "Anywhere. Not here. I need to not be in Edina. I need to leave the country." "Oh, Katie. That would be an adventure." "Maybe I'll do it. Maybe I'll leave the country. I could go back to Iceland, I guess. Or Barcelona. I want to go to Barcelona. Fuck, I'd go anywhere, who am I kidding." "Hmmm. We'll have to see what we can do." (me rolling around on the living room floor, flailing at random intervals and knocking newspapers off of coffee tables) "Mommmmm. Leave the country with me." "Katie, do you need attention?" "No I don't need attention. I need to leave the fucking country." "Katie, language." "Sorry, mom."
Later that night, brushing my teeth in the bathroom. "Katie, are you and _____ serious friends?" "Well, he's one of my best friends..." "Do you know what I'm asking you?" (me frothing with toothpaste) "Are you asking if we're dating? I'm not dating ____." "I'm asking if you're having [whispered] sex with him." "Oh. Yeah. Sorry about that, I am." "Oh dear, times have changed." "Thanks, mom."
This morning I was being a slug before work. After reading the paper I was still in my pajamas and I had 20 minutes to get ready and make a lunch before I had to leave. "Mom, I'm unmotivated to eat breakfast." (mom halfheartedly) "Get up, Katie! Get up! Get up!" "Nooooo. Drag me to breakfast." (mom grabs my ankles and begins trying to drag me off of the couch) "Yeah! Thanks, mom!" After breakfast I was still unmotivated to get dressed and ready. "Mom, I don't want to get dressed." "I'll race you! Ready? Go!" Needless to say, we both tore off to our rooms to get dressed. Also needless to say, I won.
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