I wasn't aware that was an option...

I seem to have (temporarily or permanently) lost the ability to cry.

Fourth of July weekend was rough for me this year. My brother had a big sculpture unveiling in Green Bay. I didn't go because I was supposed to house sit for some friends. Unfortunately, that fell through kind of last minute. I still didn't go to Wisconsin because I had just been there for Andy's graduation and a) I can only spend so much time in Wisconsin without going crazy and b) I can only spend so much time in the car with my parents without going crazy. Anyway.

Here were the circumstances: Joey was being a major douche (as he has been doing all summer. possibly because his girlfriend is afraid of me and he thinks it's my fault. whatever.) My parents were gone. My mom was to have surgery the following Monday morning for a tumor in her neck. Saturday morning (the 4th) rolls around and I wake up to realize that the last text I sent before going to bed was somehow sent to the wrong person. The text intended for the person with whom I had spent the evening before ended up going to Joey. I woke up to a text that said "OMG KATE I was nottttttttt supposed to get that......!!!!!!" Awesome. Later that afternoon, my car freaked out at me and ended up dying completely five blocks from my house. On the walk home, it started pouring rain. I had no ride, I had no family, I had no fireworks plans (although I did somehow end up at Taste of MN). I spent the entire afternoon bawling my eyes out on the couch. Classy.

Point is, I can't cry anymore. I went to see my mom in the hospital after her surgery (she had to spend the night). She was really sick from the anesthesia, something that was really hard for me to see. The entire time I was there, I wanted to cry. However, my mom was being a major trooper so I swore to myself I would not cry in front of her. I told myself that as soon as I got to the car, I'd let it all out. When I finally got to the car and was ready to let loose, there was not a tear to be found.

Two and a half weeks later and I still can't cry. Peculiar.