Captain Zoom II

"He whipped out his Super Full of Penis Ray gun and blasted away...."

Also, happy birthday Linnea! 

I love her even though she claims that she's going to Facebook dump me when she starts at Whitman.

I found myself caught entirely off guard.

My parents left to go camping this morning, so I have the house to myself for almost a week. In order to stave off an existential crisis for as long as possible (I had already forgone any makeup or hair care and donned old, worn-out clothing - not a good sign), I began cleaning my room.

As I put things away in my closet, I saw a white dress I didn't recognize. Upon pulling it out, I recalled buying it with my mom. It was on clearance somewhere for five dollars and it fit me; it had been much too good of a deal to pass up (though I had no need for a beautiful white dress at the time). The dress looked out of place in the chaos of my bedroom - it stood out from the work t-shirts, sunglasses, and jeans that littered every surface. 

Without thinking about it, I slipped out of my clothes. I stood for a moment and looked at the dress in front of me. I was acutely aware of my surroundings: the Current playing faintly from the living room, one of my neighbor's mowing his lawn, the fan sending a cool breeze across my bare skin. Goosebumps raised on my arms as I stepped into the dress. I tugged up the zipper in back and smoothed the layers of fabric. 

I turned around and found a stranger staring back at me from the mirror. The woman I saw was me, but different. I was five or ten years my future self - married and beginning my very own life. My face looked older - untouched by makeup, but time had done its work etching my features deeper into my skin. My eyes held the same gleam they have now. 

Breath caught in my throat, I brushed the hair out of my eyes and my reflection changed again. This version of me was maybe ten or fifteen years ahead. I had children, two of them. I was harping at them to clean their rooms, hoping that I was raising them well, and praying that they live their lives to the fullest.

I raised a hand to my heart in disbelief and saw my mother staring back at me. Her life would become mine, for better or for worse. 

My hands shook slightly as I unzipped the dress and let it fall to the floor under me. Cautiously, I hung it up and put it back in my closet. 

I don't need that dress yet; it can wait a while. 

Non sequiturs besiege me. Das cool.

The other day at work, I was eating lunch in the back room. As I enjoyed my leftover vietnamese coconut something something curry from Than Do, Kelly came back to grab something. "Hey, Kate." "Yeah, what's up?" "How do you feel about robots?" (I dropped my fork and rice scattered across the floor) "I feel AWESOME about robots. Why?"

The rest of the conversation doesn't really matter. The point is that people associate me with robots. Which is excellent.

Also, Kelsey got me some epic sunglasses for a really early birthday gift. They make me feel like a superhero.

I wasn't aware that was an option...

I seem to have (temporarily or permanently) lost the ability to cry.

Fourth of July weekend was rough for me this year. My brother had a big sculpture unveiling in Green Bay. I didn't go because I was supposed to house sit for some friends. Unfortunately, that fell through kind of last minute. I still didn't go to Wisconsin because I had just been there for Andy's graduation and a) I can only spend so much time in Wisconsin without going crazy and b) I can only spend so much time in the car with my parents without going crazy. Anyway.

Here were the circumstances: Joey was being a major douche (as he has been doing all summer. possibly because his girlfriend is afraid of me and he thinks it's my fault. whatever.) My parents were gone. My mom was to have surgery the following Monday morning for a tumor in her neck. Saturday morning (the 4th) rolls around and I wake up to realize that the last text I sent before going to bed was somehow sent to the wrong person. The text intended for the person with whom I had spent the evening before ended up going to Joey. I woke up to a text that said "OMG KATE I was nottttttttt supposed to get that......!!!!!!" Awesome. Later that afternoon, my car freaked out at me and ended up dying completely five blocks from my house. On the walk home, it started pouring rain. I had no ride, I had no family, I had no fireworks plans (although I did somehow end up at Taste of MN). I spent the entire afternoon bawling my eyes out on the couch. Classy.

Point is, I can't cry anymore. I went to see my mom in the hospital after her surgery (she had to spend the night). She was really sick from the anesthesia, something that was really hard for me to see. The entire time I was there, I wanted to cry. However, my mom was being a major trooper so I swore to myself I would not cry in front of her. I told myself that as soon as I got to the car, I'd let it all out. When I finally got to the car and was ready to let loose, there was not a tear to be found.

Two and a half weeks later and I still can't cry. Peculiar.

Holy poetry, Batman!

I ran with the clouds and my shadow ran with me.

An assortment of goodies.

It's interesting what information you can glean about a person by rummaging through (or just observing) the contents of their pockets, purse, car, etc. Allow me to compare and contrast the three people (including myself) with whom I spent the day.

Joey Stych role: best friend
pockets: iPhone, wallet, sometimes keys
analysis: The basics. Nothing exciting in his wallet - simply money, id, credit card, receipts. nothing on his key chain save for the single car key. The iPhone is slightly more revealing. it is simply packed with apps - those used for functionality (the standard texting, camera, internet), convenience (facebook, directions, movie times), and entertainment (doodle jump, oregon trail, and that horrible dog whistle with which he tortures Sammy). In this one simple gadget, Joey happily surrenders himself to the world of Apple.
purse/bag: not applicable
car: empty cans of diet coke, auxiliary cord
analysis: Typical. Again, nothing exciting (especially because he shares the car with his sister). However, what is present is extremely classic slash archetypal of Joey. Never anything except Diet Coke in their fridge, the car is full of it. And the one true love of Joey's life adapted for his time in the car - the iPhone cord.

George Haworth role: british and usually drunk potential love interest
pockets: iPhone, wallet, keys
analysis: There seems to be a trend within the men who occupy my time. iPhones. George's approach to the iPhone is slightly different. Only one extra app adorns his mobile device. Specifically, one in which tanks blow each other up. He refuses to add anything else, holding to his cynicism and hatred for the world at large. Also, he never has cash. Ever. Which sucks because he owes me $10.
purse/bag: not applicable
car: air freshener, cd binder thing
analysis: In George's circumstances, the car itself is far more important than its contents. Some sort of snazzy BMW, George devotes his entire life to this car. He enrolled himself in photography classes at the Minnetonka Center for Art simply in order to take better photos of his car. Really. Anyway, I digress. A green turtle air freshener hangs from George's rear view mirror. He claims that it doesn't really work anymore. My thoughts are that it represents his ever-elusive soft spot - the evidence that he does, in fact, have something resembling a heart or soul. The music is the other key accessory here. George listens to music in phases. The last two times I've been in his car, it's gone from hardcore techno to a 90s alternative bender. Strange boy.

Me role: self-loathing college student constantly trapped in existential crises and suburbia
pockets: oddly shaped phone, chapstick
analysis: This hasn't changed since the beginning of high school. Cell phone in my left front pocket, chapstick in my right. Although I've gone through a few different phones and a few different chapstick flavors, my pockets stand firm in their purpose. Hoo-ah.
purse/bag: wallet, car keys, camera, iPod, anything else you can possibly imagine
analysis: Jackpot. I'm the fuckin modern day Mary Poppins (but meaner). I could take this space to list the entire contents of my purse. Which would be really dumb. If you know me well (and chances are you do because you're aware of the existence of this blog), you've probably seen my purse and its constant state of chaos. No more description necessary.
car: plastic animals, music nobody has ever heard of, toys, stolen yard signs, sports equipment, kite, etc.
analysis: Possibly one of the most accurate reflections of my mind, fractured as it may be. Junk from every facet of my life litters my car. I'm sick of typing and I'm sleepy. Abrupt end. Now.

Mother = Source of my hiccups + Morning salvation

The other evening I was having a mini-existential crisis on the living room floor."Mom, I need to get out of Edina." "Where would you like to go, Katie?" "Anywhere. Not here. I need to not be in Edina. I need to leave the country." "Oh, Katie. That would be an adventure." "Maybe I'll do it. Maybe I'll leave the country. I could go back to Iceland, I guess. Or Barcelona. I want to go to Barcelona. Fuck, I'd go anywhere, who am I kidding." "Hmmm. We'll have to see what we can do." (me rolling around on the living room floor, flailing at random intervals and knocking newspapers off of coffee tables) "Mommmmm. Leave the country with me." "Katie, do you need attention?" "No I don't need attention. I need to leave the fucking country." "Katie, language." "Sorry, mom."

Later that night, brushing my teeth in the bathroom. "Katie, are you and _____ serious friends?" "Well, he's one of my best friends..." "Do you know what I'm asking you?" (me frothing with toothpaste) "Are you asking if we're dating? I'm not dating ____." "I'm asking if you're having [whispered] sex with him." "Oh. Yeah. Sorry about that, I am." "Oh dear, times have changed." "Thanks, mom."

This morning I was being a slug before work. After reading the paper I was still in my pajamas and I had 20 minutes to get ready and make a lunch before I had to leave. "Mom, I'm unmotivated to eat breakfast." (mom halfheartedly) "Get up, Katie! Get up! Get up!" "Nooooo. Drag me to breakfast." (mom grabs my ankles and begins trying to drag me off of the couch) "Yeah! Thanks, mom!" After breakfast I was still unmotivated to get dressed and ready. "Mom, I don't want to get dressed." "I'll race you! Ready? Go!" Needless to say, we both tore off to our rooms to get dressed. Also needless to say, I won.

"Squares just make me so much happier than rectangles!"

I've had my current mobile phone since January 1, 2009. Today I opened up the "Notepad" sector and glanced through what I have stored there. It's a series of reminders, to-do lists, quotes, words I want to remember, etc. A few key notes in chronological order:

-Dr. Hydell and Mr. Forb

-Do you have a bandaid? I scraped my knee falling for you.

-Olomana Peak (Chelseas say do it)

-LB security guard: Ele'u

-That weird eyeball fruit: lychee

-REI membership #881722

-How many times have Johnny Depp and Tim Burton worked together?

-Buy a massively giant button-up cardigan.

-google dada performance

-I think that possibly maybe I'm falling for you

-With beauty all around me, I walk.

-Text jaclyn - the house I'm staying in smells exactly like her old house on tracy

-He has a lot of problems. He just sucks at being a human

-find Emily. Is she still alive?

-Write about that Patrick person from the plane

I'll try to post more often; I forget that people read this sometimes.