I can't remember the last time I just wrote...

the nights are dark, lonely.
my only company is the wind.
to wallow,
to waste away,
to cease.
all prevalent desires.
to succumb. is it to fail or to succeed?
a simple matter of judgment.
but a simple matter is rarely that.
always more complex
always less happy
the deeper you go.
I wish to stop.
just stop.
everything.
but each time I try, something holds me back.
my music will not allow for my sadness
my life will not allow me to slow.
to relax, to breathe.
the only thing I am allowed to do
is keep moving.
moving forward.
always.
it's all there is.

at what cost